[sticky entry] Sticky: ☆☆☆

Jan. 28th, 2016 02:40 pm
kittenyarns: (Default)

cras amet qui nunquam amavit; quique amavit, cras amet 

Fic Stuff

To promptly get a reply to an inquiry, direct e-mails to me here(click).

If you'd like to keep up with my kpop/rpf fic endeavors, that will be at [personal profile] curledupkitten and on tumblr at kitception.
particularly interested in ficlets? that's in the stuff kitten writes tag. I can also be located under the pseud curledupkitten on AO3, should you prefer ebooks or pdfs of my work. additionally, all beta mistakes are corrected first and foremost on AO3.

If you're looking for any other kind of fic, meaning my writing for any fictional character fic, my home base is over at [personal profile] momoshiro . My anime and etc tumblr is whyiskisehere, and my AO3 pseud is kittebasu. This sort of fic is only posted on AO3, and I'd like it not to be posted anywhere else.

Don't send asks expecting a quick reply. Just e-mail me.

I have a blanket policy on most transformative works: I am okay with being podficced and with being translated. You do not have to ask me, although I would like a heads up, so that I can tell you if someone else has already started a translation or podfic, and because I want to see it. My only request is that the original work be linked somewhere in the header! I do not want to be remixed.

Personal Stuff

I have attempted to aggregate myself at distlled

But for clarity's sake, I can be found at listography, and on twitter, as well as on anilist (I'm still trying to figure out anilist).

I'm aware that my personal tumblr is easy to find, but I do not maintain that tumblr for anyone but myself. Do not send me asks on my personal tumblr. 

I am attempting to be less misanthropic, so I generally DO want to reply, but the best way to reach me is, by far, my e-mail or twitter if you're unlocked. 

kittenyarns: (Default)
Day 10: In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (More than one is okay, too.) Tell us about it, tell us why you love it, give us some examples and recs.


I'm going to do tropes first. It should come as no surprise that I love making characters suffer a lot before ultimately giving them a happy ending, but, well, I do. I want every kiss to feel earned, I want the threads of sexual tension and emotional tension to be so tightly pulled that you never know when they'll snap. I live for that in writing-- my own and other people's. It's just something I like, and some tropes lead to it more readily than others. Which brings me to my list.

1.) Fake dating: No list I ever make can exist without this VANGUARD of my fic arsenal, the fake dating fic. I love fake dating. I will die on this hill. I love everything about it. I love friends willing to run the family gauntlet to take the pressure off during the hols, I love the feigning romantic emotions and the slow horror as they turn real, I loVE WHEN ONE OR BOTH PARTIES HAS BEEN IN LOVE THE WHOLE TIME AND STARTS THE CHARADE AGAINST THEIR BETTER JUDGMENT, JUST BECAUSE THE OTHER PERSON ASKS-- *ahem* What I mean to say is, this trope rly gets me every fucking time, I'm like a horse drawn to the emotional water, the moth to the desire flame, let me just live a little.

Now, I have a lot of fake dating favs. Here's a Baeksoo (EXO) fic written by tatoeba, under false pretenses, where kyungsoo pretends to be baekhyun's boyfriend for his parents but the Feels Are Real. And this old kaner/tazer FAKE MARRIAGE fic which I like to read as original fiction since we all know i'm a Dallas Stars girl and I don't know about anyone that's not playing for the Stars. There's this 1D fic, which was a fun read bc I love canon fic of people being famous and in boy bands even when I only know the names of three members of 1D, about louis and harry pretending to date as a publicity stunt, which could have been an icky premise but ended up being executed in a really fun way. (by fun i mean angst don't get it twisted.) [note that this fic in particular is v YMMV] There's this Hawaii 5-0 fic where danny and steve pretend to be a merried couple to bust a cartel, a delightful case fic, and speaking of case fic, here is a delightful joan/sherlock elementary case fic, which is about finding kidnappers and cu;lture clashes and etc.(my otp is sherlock/marcus bell, but i bend my own rules all the time.) This Supergirl Kara/Cat fic!!! Where they are so cute and pining!! This should be a good start. I want to write a really long one of these one day with Shinichi and Kaito, but that'll have to wait until I finish Sign of the Five.

2.) Secret dating: OKAY SO, the thing is, secret dating is about equal with fake dating for me because I'm a complete sucker for tiptoing around and guilt from lying and in-actionable thwarted jealousy. I'm So Stressed when I read these fic but also so happy, thrilled, i'm such a sadist towards characters when i'm watching a slowburn develop. I LOVE THIS TROPE. it's hard to explain why i like it so much, but i'm very interested in internal conflict. in fact, i find internal conflict twice as interesting as external conflict, and secret dating takes an external conflict and turns it into something internal, secret, hidden. Like the Japanese concept of inside and outside face, right? anyway, that's fascinating to me and i adore it. 

Some fics I like include this harry/draco from a few years back, where draco is working overtime to keep harry alive while not letting slip he means much at all to him, and i won't rerec all the world's a stage, by torigates, which i recced a few days ago *whistles*. There's also this cute hinata/tsukki fic, i swear i don't read exo fic or haikyuu fic at all unless it was written for me in an exchange but SOMETIMES THE TROPE DRAGS ME IN and I stay because I read these tropes in fandoms I've never even heard of. And if you know of any good ones in any fandom that's not teen wolf or supernatural I WILL READ THEM.

4.) Soulmates: Can I really, REALLY cho OSE a fa VOURITE SOULMATE FIC? I love soulmates. I write so much meta about soulmates that I am fresh out right now, but please understand that this: this trope makes me feel so happy when it's done in a nice choice-available way. I love them i love soulmates ;;;; this is emmi's favourite, a kagehina haikyuu!! fic with gorgeous prose that was recced to me a thousand years ago. A Poe/Finn that's about discovering yourself as much as discovering someone else. This steve/tony avengers fic is really a sentinel au, but what is a sentinel au but an often platonic soulmates au with telepathic bonds??? This Root/Shaw from PoI ficlet dump chock full of soulmate aus. There's so many out there, and again, if you have a fave, feel free to tweet me it i will read it i will read it even if it's teen wolf. but not supernatural i'm sorry i've failed you all.

And a bonus kink!

1.) Shaving: All my kinks are about trust or consensual possessiveness. Sexual and nonsexual tbh, haha. But shaving kink is near and dear to my heart for a multitude of reasons, not just the trust that's naturally involved in letting someone put a blade to your skin and drag it, and not just the the deep intimacy of it that makes someone feel a little bit yours, either. There's also something oddly sensual to me abt the slow feel of straight razors, and something fascinating about feeling the texture of someone's skin change under your fingertips, the slight bitter smell of shaving cream, even the girly floral kinds. I love shaving. I. l. OVE i T, it's super sexy, I'm 5000% into it. Some shaving kink done the way I prefer: kyouhaba, ofc, and this bucky barnes/t'challa fic that's right h/c, this steve/danny broken hand shaving fic....JUST ACCEPT THAT I LIVE HERE IN THIS HOUSE, THIS IS MY HOUSE, THE SEXY SHAVING HOUSE.

Anyway this has been a short but not exhaustive list of some shit i like, annnnnnd i'm going to make it by midnight!
kittenyarns: (Default)
DAY 9: Send feedback to two fannish people — they can be anyone you want: a writer who’s made you happy, a moderator of your favorite exchange, a fanartist you avidly follow.

complete, posted for posterity.
kittenyarns: (Default)
Day 8: In your own space, make a list of at least 3 things that you like about yourself.


Well, actually, this could be worse. My first reaction to this prompt was panic, though, which I feel is #relateable


1.) My knack for learning languages. I can learn the basics of a new language in a very short time, and there doesn't seem to be a limit on the number of languages I can learn; my brain doesn't mind overlaps or weird contraries. English is, what, my fourth language? And I'm fantastic at it. I'm really grateful I can do this, and it's something I gloat over since no one else in my family can do it. I always play interpreter and it's fun. I'm not the best at pronunciation for sounds that don't mesh with the things my ear is used to, but honestly I usually make up for that with grammar and vocab. (This is the case especially in my Austronesian languages.) Anyway this is my biggest talent and I like it about myself.

2.) Being mixed. It's ruined my self esteem in a lot of ways, but like, I feel like being from several completely different cultures has increased my empathy and understanding about the ways different cultures work. It's pretty rare for me to stumble over cultural differences instead of absorbing them; after all, I lived in a family where one parent would yell to take off my shoes in the house and the other thought it was important to leave them on when downstairs. (And before that I didn't wear shoes, because it was a waste of time to put them on.) I've embraced it now. 

3.) My sense of style. I'm great at getting dressed. I'm tall, around 180cm, or like, 6ft? and something I love is high heels and tailored dresses and all that. It seems silly to count this as a thing I like about myself when other people probably have deep answers, but getting dressed is something I genuinely enjoy, and I love wearing outfits that are bright and eye-catching like a peacock. I like red lipsticks and outrageous prints and those clothes you see at a thrift shop from the 80s where you aren't sure if they're hideous or fabulous. Clothes are fun, and I'm good at them. So yeah, I guess when I'm not hiking around unshowered in the wilderness, I'm really fastidious about getting dressed. And I like that about myself.
kittenyarns: (howling wolf)
Day 7: In your own space, create a fanwork. Make a drabble, a ficlet, a podfic, or an icon, art or meta or a rec list. Arts and crafts. Draft a critical essay about a particular media. Put together a picspam or a fanmix. Write a review of a Broadway show, a movie, a concert, a poetry reading, a museum trip, a you-should-be-listening-to-this-band essay. Compose some limericks, haikus, free-form poetry, 5-word stories. Document a particular bit of real person canon. Take some pictures. Draw a stick-figure comic. Create something.

Since I usually post writing, I'll post some recent photos instead to supplement to make this tiny travel diary slash music rec.

To start, I want to talk about travelling.

I spent a large portion of my life travelling against my will. Or, rather, travelling without being given an active choice in it. My parents left me with my grandparents at a young age because of my father's work, and for the first 5 years or so, that meant no electricity or running water or indoor plumbing. I lived in a rainforest, so we never wanted for much-- everything we needed we grew, we collected rainwater, and all the children went to school in a one room schoolhouse. These memories are very vague for me-- distant and cloudy like a dream, and I can grasp onto the tiniest details but often timelines and events escape me. 

The next place I lived was on the other side of the world, with a different set of grandparents. I remember this a lot better. I discovered the cruelty of being mixed race around this time in my life, probably, and I'll never forget it. I was eager to move, after that. Eager to go somewhere new. Only I ended up stuck for a long time in this second place, surrounded by a homogenous society that was a fraction mine but from which I felt isolated completely. I started to long for other places. After that I rejoined my parents, in and out of schools and sometimes skipping school completely in favor of passing yearly exams until high school, which was split between my high school in Japan and then an extra year in the States, so that I didn't need to take the TOEFL for university.

Perhaps my restless childhood is at the heart of why I can't seem to stay in one place anymore, moving from country to country without much care for roots.

So now I travel a lot. Here's a picspam, along with some music.

I'll include some brief spams of some of my more recent trips that were temporary, as opposed to my country moves, haha. 



Anyway this is just a brief glimpse of the sort of photos that clutter my phone and what I do with my life outside the computer, mixed with the music that reminds me of these places. It's not a fic, but I don't really have the spare energy to write outside my big projects and I owe to drabbles anyway. Happy Day 7!!!
kittenyarns: (Default)
Day 6: In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts.

Oh wow. This is hard, because I've always felt like if I want something written I'm supposed to write it myself. But.

1.) Canon-verse soulmate AUs. I love when soulmates and the concept of them are weaved directly into canon. I always think that I'm going to ask for this in an exchange, but I'm nervous I'm too picky: I like soulmate aus that are not inherently romantic for this; like, two people are destined to be important in each other's lives by fate but that doesn't necessarily translate to romance. like imagine a harry and hermione who are soulmates, and find understanding and affection in each other. harry as best man at hermione's wedding and hermione who teaches harry's daughter how to drive because harry is a reckless driver and he shouldn't be passing that on to the next generation. or imagine oikawa and ushiwaka as soulmates destined to challenge each other. destined to stand on opposite sides of the court and force each other to grow in different ways. OR a midousuji marked for onoda, who teaches him how to have friends without changing, without thinking he has to lash out at kindness and drive it away before it's snatched from him instead. these kinds of soulmate aus thrill me. and if it is romantic, when it becomes romantic, it is not inevitability or an expectation but a choice, that someone will be important to you in that way, too. (and imagine the social politics of that; of a world where your soulmate can be an enemy or a friend or a confidant or a rival, and all you know about them is that they matter to you. it grabs inevitability and throws it out the window. imagine fake-dating in this universe. "mom, i can't go on blind dates anymore, i've fallen for my soulmate" and everything falls back in. unrequited pining, uncertainty, angst, doubt... delicious. and knowing you can't mess this up, that this person is something to you but not knowing what you are to them-- it's every romance trope i like but magnified, or distilled, and that's perfect and exactly what fic is about.)

2.) baekhyun and suho wearing dresses together. boys in dresses is so. important to me. fic, art, pipit's headcanons... i just... why won't SM just give me this. anyway fandom if you could hook me up with this i would be in your debt for eternity. 

3.) can someone make a mashup of EXO's wolf and Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf i'm asking for a friend and not because I'm satan okay just--

4.) i wish there was a (lockable) place where we could collectively share fic snippets with groups of people we've chosen. like a simple page where you can post a section you're trying to troubleshoot and get feedback from everyone in different colours. not like google docs, which is my go-to beta place, but something like MWC but with the ability to share bits of text or  <1000 words of draft. I guess. I've been thinking about this for a while, but I'm not a huge fan of gdocs for varied reasons, but a lot involves not wanting my betas to have each other's emails on default without permission, or wanting necessarily to link fic with gmail because targeted advertising has gotten totally bizarre thanks to my porn odyssey aus.

EDIT:// http://privatter.net looks like it might be worth a try *____*

5.) a podfic of an invincible summer. it really hurts my eyes to read long fic but i want my favourite things to be recorded so that i don't have to make siri read them aloud--

kittenyarns: (Default)
Day 5: In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create


Please read the warnings for these works before you read or listen to the actual works. Honestly, most of these are very SFW, with minor sex jokes or offhand references to sex, but a couple of them really aren't. I've marked those NSFW, obviously, but for more specific warnings please see the work's listed warnings. I do this because I don't feel comfortable writing the warnings for other people's works, and I don't know what other people need to be warned for tbh.

This list is not comprehensive. I think I could make a rec list that's 1000 fics long for Naruto alone. I have read a billion Naruto fics. I have also only included 1 fic written in a fandom I write for. I generally don't rec for fandoms I write for, for Reasons, but I want everyone in the universe to read that fic. Anyway I'll stop explaining and give you this pile of things I like, in no particular order except the first one:


[podfic] somewhere my flower is there by novembersmith, as read by rhea314
tsuritama, haru/yuki
“If someone loves a flower, of which just one single blossom grows in all the millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars. He can say to himself, ‘Somewhere, my flower is there…’ But if the sheep eats the flower, in one moment all his stars will be darkened… And you think that is not important!” - Le Petit Prince

rec notes: this is my favourite. my favourite everything. it's not just the fic: i love the fic, of course, but this fic comes alive as a podfic. if someone asks me for a podfic rec, or i'm trying to get someone into podfic in general, this is the one i rec. it has everything: voices, charisma, cuteness, charm, emotional highs, DID I MENTION THE CUTENESS??, friendship... it's darling. rhea314 is really good at haru's voice. she's amazing at making him feel just like the character in the anime, and my heart grows three sizes every time i listen to this. it's heartwarming, and the tale of a cute alien fish learning about human love and still maintaining that very distinct alienness is so WONDERFUL. anyway if you listen to/read one thing on this list, please let it be this one.

[fic] all the world's a stage by torigates
brooklyn 99, rosa diaz/jake peralta
In fall of 2009 Rosa showed up at Jake's apartment unannounced to propose marriage. Which was weird for a number of reasons, primarily because Jake had no idea she even knew where he lived.

"No seriously," he said, once he stopped laughing. "Why're you here."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "One thousand push-ups."

"Cool," Jake said. "Let me get my coat."

rec notes: i laughed for a million years, i might still be laughing. this characterization is possibly the love of my life. rosa is PERFECT, and jake's general puppy-ness shines through. this show is so pure, and the purity really carries through in this fic, with genuine humour that's never at anyone's expense, just like the show. i love this fic. i wanna marry it.

[podfic] no place like home by dirgewithoutmusic, as read by opalsong
harry potter, gen
When Petunia Dursley refused to take Harry in she forfeited his birthright protection, so Dumbledore took the baby to the safest place he knew: Hogwarts.

The applicable staff (mostly just… not Snape) took Harry in on a rotating schedule as he grew from baby to toddler to child. They traded extra credit for babysitting among the older students, and Harry grew up knowing a few dozen different laps that were safe and warm to nap in.

This was a Harry who grew up among books, among old transient walls and learned professors. They gave Binns night duty sometimes, and let him talk young Harry to sleep. This was a Harry whose world changed, on principle, daily. The stairs moved. The walls became doors. You had to keep your eyes open–you had to pay attention. So he did.

He grew up in a school. Knowledge was power, but knowledge was also joy. This was his sanctuary. There was magic in his world from birth.

rec notes: harry potter finding a family is my kink tbh. i could read a million stories about it, but this is one of the best ones. once again, i recommend you listen instead of read. this one's great to read, too, ofc, but it really gains something in the oration-- perhaps because listening to it makes you slow down, and you can really appreciate the interesting turns of phrase and asides that dirgewithout music includes. also opalsong is a great reader. i listen to pretty much everything they publish because they're just really talented. i love this. 

[fic] close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl
haikyuu!!, yahaba/kyoutani
It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is.

rec notes: this fic has some of my favourite characterization in a fic. i especially like the way the side characters shine in this-- oikawa is an absolute delight. i quote this fic pretty often in my daily hq!! conversations because the dialogue is so sharp. yahaba feels real and relatable, and his melancholy never veers into maudlin. i really adore this fic, which i do honestly feel is one of the best written I've read in a long while. Pacing and characterization really sparkle in darkmagicalgirl's fics, and this one is a prime example of that.

[fic] Tides of Loneliness by theDah
rurouni kenshin, kenshin/kaoru
As an Alpha, Kaoru is a powerful and charismatic leader… well, in her dreams, that is. In 11th of Meiji, the society’s expectations label women as deferential, demure homemakers and Kaoru is the very definition of a lonely misfit. But then she meets Kenshin Himura and nothing is black and white anymore.

rec notes: this is a really interesting way of fusing rk canon with ABO in a way that makes a beautiful and tragic amount of sense. this work is rly powerful for being so short, and really shows one of the things people can do with ABO that's not about sex or sexual power at all. there's no sex in this. no references to sex. i love those, too, but this was different in a way i've been wanting to see for a while from this trope. this is a story about control, and what happens when it's abused. what it can do to people when they devote their lives to something intangible, and what having power when you don't know how to wield it can be frightening. it's a great story that really relies on solid characterization to make the AU work... and work it does imho. kaoru is totally believable as a sheltered alpha that doesn't know her own strength, and kenshin as an omega fits flawlessly into the hierarchy of the bakamatsu. 

[fic] rumour has it by mautadite
a song of ice and fire, sansa stark/margaery tyrell
“Did you hear about Sansa Stark and Margaery Tyrell in Greenhouse Five?” The rumour mill turns.

rec notes: this is freakin adorable and also happy sansa/margaery fic is my asoiaf poison of choice. this is a harry potter au where the houses of asoiaf are pureblood families and politics plays out thus.

[fic] i looked at you and saw forever by cywscross
teen wolf, allison/stiles
When she walks into the classroom and catches his eye, it’s like all the puzzle pieces in the world clicking into place. Like finding something essential to their survival that neither of them ever realized was missing to begin with. Like coming up for air and finally being able to breathe unrestricted.

rec notes: this is a soulmate au that i really enjoyed. the unusual pairing really worked for me in this fic, and i thought it was a good exploration of an often underexamined dynamic. stiles and allison are so fun together. also i love soulmate aus.

[fic] an invincible summer by ShanaStoryteller
naruto, minor pairings but so not the point (sasuke/naruto)
When Naruto is five, he's gutted by a drunken civilian and presumed dead.

Six months later a girl with ash pale hair and dark blue eyes enters the Academy.

rec notes: i don't want to spoil this fic, but genderfluid naruto has never been more real or more wonderful than in this fic. also this fic is really fluffy despite the grim summary. it's about seeing the best in people, and seeing for who they have the potential to become. naruto in this fic is so Good, and because of that, they make everyone else Good around them. I really love this fic. It makes me happy. it's also funny and cute and has found family and a TINY smidgeon of romance. just a little ;). there's also another fic that diverges around the first third of the story to tell another possible outcome, and it is also really fun to read, if not as in depth and in the vein of what i like, which is people building their own families when the world doesn't shake out for them right on that front.

[fic] fairy dance of death
sword art online
AU reboot of the entire SAO storyline, beginning from the premise that Kayaba Akihiko was obsessed with magic and Norse Mythology rather than swords and pure melee. As a result, he created the Death Game of Alfheim Online rather than the floating castle of Aincrad—a world in which player-killing is not a crime, and the nine player races are in competition with each other to reach the top of the World Tree.

rec notes: i don't know how to rec this beyond saying 'wow' at the sheer amount of research and worldbuilding that went into it. it's truly impressive, and i like it a lot better than i like its source material. fandom is so good to me sometimes.

[podfic] look at this wonderful mess we've made by shelockelly, as read by RSCreighton
hockey rpf, jamie benn/tyler seguin, nsfw
A name-on-wrist soulmate AU where being outed by a same-sex name is still newsworthy if you're in professional sports and is a very real concern for some NHL players. Despite the shifting attitudes, no one in the sport has ever come out publicly.

Tyler has always felt relieved that 'Jamie' could be a male or female name, it makes hiding his sexuality a lot easier. Jamie's not been so lucky.

rec notes: this is a hard listen. i got so angry at jamie so many times listening to this, but the kind of angry where i'm half angry AT him and half angry at the world for making him like this. at points you think they're too broken, and that it can't be fixed, but i think that the pacing really benefits this story in that the resolution feels thoroughly earned. RSCreighton has a comforting voice for me, and i really enjoyed this as a podfic, as I don't usually have the attention span for fics like this if I have to read them. 

[podfic] House in the Red Light District by Kyogre, as read by Opalsong
snk (attack on titan)
Armin, Eren and Mikasa inherit a brothel. A very classy brothel, that's popular with the military. They have no idea what they're doing, but with Armin's cunning, Mikasa's ability to kick ass, and Eren's mysterious kink-discovering skills, they pull through okay. Mostly.

rec notes:
this is hilarious, and i'm reccing it for the joke delivery. it's so great. a really fun listen that's not going to shank you in the gut like most of the things I love.

[podfic] when you get where you are going by pryodynamo, as read by Rhea314
tiger & bunny, koutetsu/barnaby
none given

rec notes: i've never read this fic, but I've listened to it 20 times. it's another story about finding yourself, and figuring out what you want. i love those ;)

[fic] The Rest of Your Life by candle_beck
baseball rpf, munson/chavez
two boys grow up

rec notes: this fic fucking destroyed me, i see this fic in my dreams, don't read this fic if you want to believe happiness exists, it's so good read it anyway. this fic is like getting dropped in the coldest part of the ocean with weights on your ankles, but really, this fic is actually like a warm summer afternoon, sitting across from your best friend, eating popsicles and realizing you're in love with them. and then realizing that you really shouldn't be. ahhhhh it's so good.

[fic] Behind this Wall of Metaphors by cherryvanilla and impertinence
rpf, jonathan toews/kristen stewart | jonathon toews/patrick kane | kristen stewart/charlize theron, nsfw
In which KStew and Tazer meet in a bar, hookup, becoming bros who bone, talk about their gay crushes, and begin fake dating in an attempt to make said gay crushes jealous. Mostly in that order.

rec notes: so i read this before the whole patrick kane thing happened, and i sorta lost my taste for patrick kane, but this fic is So Good. kristen is so amazingly written, as is the friendship between jonny and kristen. rarely do i read fic where sex with friends isn't some kind of underlying promise of romance-- in this, the sex and the romance are clearly two separate things, the fake dating is actually fake, and other things are happening with people outside their friends-with-benefits situation. i really like that. the dialogue is great, too, and there are no girls-as-villains, bless. also charlize/kristen for life, i swear, i love-- anyway, the characterization is great, it's HOT, it's a lot of fun to read but doesn't skimp on introspection. i like this fic a lot. so much that it survived my great kane/toews bookmark purge of 2k15. 


kittenyarns: (Default)
Day 4: Comment to someone you haven't ever interacted with before or introduce yourself to someone you've interacted with and friend/follow them.

As this is an activity and not a post, I'm just leaving the day 4 challenge here as a placeholder.
kittenyarns: (Default)
Day 3: In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

I'll separate my goals for each section of my life.

1. Fic Goals:

A.) Finish every WIP I have that is over 50k. This includes, in alphabetical order:
  • all men must die (EXO)
  • (Untitled) Artist AU (EXO)
  • as just as fair (XXXHOLIC)
  • bubblegum electric (Haikyuu!!)
  • crossfire (Daiya no Ace)
  • heartbrined (EXO)
  • inkstained (KPOP)
  • libra sancti (EXO)
  • Maid cafe AU (EXO)
  • pour some sugar on me (EXO)
  • until (Haikyuu!!)
  • (you're not supposed to be) my type (EXO)
All together, i have 889,000 words of unfinished fic. 211k of that are crossfire alone. 

B.) Finish Book 2 of my Meitantei Conan series.

C.) Publish 1 million words on AO3 in one calendar year.

2.) Fandom Goals:

A.) Become a more effective communicator: Reply to DMs and messages at least once a week.

B.) Reply to comments. One of my major anxiety problems is replying to comments. It's difficult for me. But it seems to be an expectation among people in fandom and I will try my best.

C.) Organize my fandom spaces. Shut down several fandom spaces I don't use anymore. Update my listography. Etc.

D.) Stop. Reading. So. Much. Naruto. Fic.

E.) Make a comprehensive multifandom recs list for my own reference.

3. Personal Goals: 

A.) Find a career instead of a job 

B.) Start learning Russian

C.) Pass the final level of the JPLT

D.) Go to rehab/Finally quit drinking

E.) Finish my original novel, and do agent inquiries through [redacted]

F.) Finish my SIMS4 Legacy, and shut down my Twitch. This is a major time drain. This time could be better spent, say, learning Russian.
kittenyarns: (cupcakes)
Day 2: In your own space, share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. Something that impacted on your consciousness in a way that left its mark on your soul.

There is a book I read when I was quite small, and still learning English, called Walk Two Moons, by Sharon Creech. It was given to me as a gift for my birthday, from my grandmother. This, she told me, is a book about another little girl who feels like she doesn't belong. I remember staring at the light brown cover, with a picture of a lake on the front, and running my fingers across the moons replacing the 'o's in the title. I remember curling up on the soft sheep blanket in the corner of our home, in the spot furthest from the fire, and starting to read it, not expecting much since my grandmother had never been particularly good at choosing books for me, a girl who read high fantasies and murder mysteries more than anything else.

The pages were soft already; folded and dogeared. It wasn't a new book. My grandmother had purchased it from the library in the next village over, where she got most books in English for me, because there were hardly places to buy books at all, where we lived, let alone ones in a language no one else speaks with any fluency. Only the kids at my school were expected to be good at English, anyway. The other kids in our respective neighborhoods referred to us as "the Americans" even though half of us had never seen America, and weren't even sure that's where one of our parents might be from. I was one of the rare kids that knew both of my parents and was secure in the fact that I hadn't been an accident or a cultural misstep. That knew exactly why my skin was darker and why my otherness wasn't socially disqualifying. Still, I loved English, and I wanted to be good at it. I wanted to be the best at it, because it was a skill that felt like it should have been my birthright, even if the words felt strange on my tongue.

I never expected, really, to identify with a character the way I identified with Sal. If I'd been older, I'd have realized, like my grandmother did, that Sharon Creech was someone meant to write for kids like me. Sharon Creech grew up straddling cultures herself; deeply aware of her Indigenous American roots at the same time as she reached for a sense of mainstream Americanism that was constantly kept just out of reach for her. All of her books brush upon this idea of wanting to blend in, and that desire is so important, so easy, for me to identify with. I spent most of my childhood longing to fit into my surroundings. To stop being stared at in the market. To stop having people touch my hair in the street or have other kids I'd known my whole life taunt me in the language we all grew up speaking together, because the words must hurt less when the language didn't belong to me.

But as I sat there, wrapped up in the blanket my grandmother had made by hand, English book open to the first chapter, I found someone else who was being crushed by the weight of others' expectations like me. And it hooked me. I devoured the rest of the book, with its important lessons and wonderful Americana and sprawling cultural roots. I imagined the rural parts of Ohio and Kentucky through the backseat window of Gramps' car. I was Sal, determined to finally grasp the truth of the world in my own two hands. 

While Walk Two Moons is, first and foremost, a story of forgiveness and family, it is also a story of learning to understand yourself, and your place in the world. From a writing perspective, this is the book that taught me the importance of everyday characters. That taught me that you didn't need a complex plot to tell a very complex story. That made me face the idea that I wasn't alone in my displacement, and that a book had the power to do that for others, too. I started writing my own stories because this story finally lanced a wound I hadn't realized was infected, and let me start to heal.

From a personal perspective, it taught me empathy. To look outside myself, and wonder if there was more to the story than my own personal narrative.

This book doesn't have anything flashy to recommend it. There is no fast-paced mystery, no high-fantasy magic. The characters are simple and mundane, and you've met them all before, at school or your job, at the grocer's and the dry cleaners. They are normal people with normal problems, and they struggle with things that are tied around their ankles like lead weights, making them move forward at a crawl. But I ended up seeing myself in them, in Sal especially, so much that when things started to shift under her feet, I cried. (I don 't cry.) And isn't that its own kind of magic?

Even to this day, I can remember long pieces of dialogue from this book. The image of blackberries smeared across Sal's mother's mouth. The loneliness of abandonment, the aching open wound of wondering, and even the kid who tied her hair to the chair. (That happened to me too.) Sal is lonely and different and afraid, but she is never the villain for it. I love her.

There's a moment in this book that crystalizes her change in perspective: 

It seems to me that we can't explain all the truly awful things in the world like war and murder and brain tumors, and we can't fix these things, so we look at the frightening things that are closer to us and we magnify them until they burst open. Inside is something that we can manage, something that isn't as awful as it had at first seemed. It is a relief to discover that although there might be axe murderers and kidnappers in the world, most people seem a lot like us: sometimes afraid and sometimes brave, sometimes cruel and sometimes kind.

I remember this lesson every day. And when I write, I try to make all my characters as mundane and ordinary and wonderfully realized as Sal. Because one day I want to write a character that makes someone grip a book a little tighter, wrapped in a blanket and skimming words in a language they've dreamt of claiming, and say something like: "this character is so much like me."

I've read this book a hundred times, and I'll probably read it a hundred more. I won't offer a summary, because even I wouldn't know how to summarize it. Maybe something simple like: a girl finds herself, and comes to accept that being different, being lonely, being afraid... that those aren't the end or the beginning of anything. They're just a part of the journey, and you don't have to make that journey all by yourself.

kittenyarns: (howling wolf)

Day 1: In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

Huh. If I wanted to introduce myself and my writing to people for the first time, I would choose these:

1. camera (shy)
summary: jongin is suho's biggest fan, but strangely enough, he finds deceptively mild-mannered joonmyun even more intriguing.

this fic represents a lot about me. i think it's the fic that best incapsulates the things that i live with daily as a person: the jongin i wrote in this fic struggles with a lot of things i struggle with, personally. social anxiety, an inability to talk about problems or concerns, a non-confrotational approach to life to the detriment of satisfaction. i also think, despite that, this fic is one of the most lighthearted things i've ever written. it's whimsical and silly, and it showcases my sense of humor, which often gets lost amidst my more serious turns as a fic author. i think/hope reading this fic is fun, and offers far more insight into what it's like to talk to me in reality than anything else i've written, haha. it's also an ode to suho, one of my first ones, and that's really special to me. it's difficult to choose just one exo fic, and picking one i wrote in two days seems wild, but i love this fic.

2. a study in scarlette
summary: There are people who want to live forever, and then there is Shinichi, who just wants to live a little longer than this.

i don't write plots. i jokingly tell people this when i talk about my writing; i'm only good at character development and setting, i'm not a plot writer, and i don't know how to do any of that well so i don't. but i wrote this. i wrote this fic, and it's all about plot. it's a murder mystery that turns into a conspiracy that turns into some overarching adventure, and i got to truly stretch my nerd-wings while writing it. i think this fic represents the me that doesn't have to limit myself to references i think other people will get, or confine myself to picking one of my esoteric interests to focus on for the length of a fic. shinichi and KID are both consummate nerds. they know a lot of things about a lot of things, and i'd like to think that i do too. i enjoyed writing this fic and peppering it with things that i knew would be overlooked, left as easter eggs for fans that are a little like me. i love that i stepped out of my comfort zone and wrote this fic. i love that it taught me how to move character development at the same time as an external plot. it gave me confidence, which i don't have a lot of as a writer most days.

3. the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle
summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

this fic is not the haikyuu fic i'm "known for". the one people generally associate with me is to be first, to be best, which was my first haikyuu fic and my first pass at oikawa's personality. i love that fic, and i'm glad people like it. this fic, hercules beetle, is not like that. it doesn't have the softness or the innocence. but i think it represents a side of oikawa i've always found fascinating, and a natural extrapolation of his self-internalizing inferiority complex. i really wanted to look at the vast gulf between his outside and inside face, and everything fell into place while i was writing this fic-- the bugs, the timeline, my own huge academic crisis. i think it's a good fic. i'm proud of it, for a myriad of reasons. it's not my best fic, but it's very much what i wanted it to be.


New Tasks

Jan. 1st, 2017 02:29 pm
kittenyarns: (camera)
Hello. Happy New Year!

Journaling is very difficult for me to do consistently.

However, this year I'm going to attempt the snowflake challenge in an attempt to record my fandom life this year. I'm not sure how that will go but I'll give it a shot.

kittenyarns: (Default)
Watching: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, season 1 & 2. I've been meaning to do this for years, and also to read it!

Writing: IHX fic for [redacted] fandom, and Very Sekrit Baseball Fic

Reading: I'm currently slogging my way through Moloka'i, which is about Hawaii and Kalaupapa, the leprosy colony. It's another book about a female POC protagonist by a white man, like Memoirs of a Geisha, which is always a bit of a tough sell for me, but I think he's actually done a nice job, even if the content of this novel makes me deeply conflicted for other reasons. I say slogging through for a lot of reasons, none of which are the prose or the characterization, and most are deeply connected with my issues with this period of history. I think, so far, it's a valuable story, even if, yet again, it is about the tragedy visited upon young female children during long stretches of terrifying ignorance that we can still see the echoes of today. It's well researched and well written, and I forget, often, that a man has written this-- he's very successful in character emersion and storytelling, and it feels vivid and real and heartbreaking. 

Reccing: A few podfics, a fanartist, a podcast, and a fic.
  • Podfics: ao3 user becsfer podficced my iwaoi fic, to be first, to be best. she has a delightful voice and i absolutely adore her Oikawa voice and it's a real honor! i also devoured what i did on my summer vacation by lunchee, which is truly a testament to both the quality of the fic and lunchee's reading because despite the sheer quantity of AWESOME fic that seems to come out of Sterek fandom, i don't seek it out or get super into it!
  • Fanart wise, i'd like to rec tumblr user wasongo, who has one of the most interesting styles ever; i've been following him for a few years now and I'm super into his colouring and lineart. The thickness of his lines and the use of dark brown instead of black in a lot of his digitally coloured pieces is so!!! cool!!! also he loves DGM and not enough people love DGM.
  • Fic: one of my secretly beloved Naruto fanfics ended this month after a few years! it's a f!naruto/kakashi fic called Making Arrangements. Any way I try to sell this by plot alone is going to raise your eyebrows, because it's the best kind of tropey, but this fic is amazingly funny, charming, witty, heartwarming, romantic, and just, in general, pretty beloved to me. I ADORE this fic, and I wish I could write something this warm and fuzzy without my depression getting in the way. A++++++++
  • Podcast: My Favorite Murder is just two interesting women talking about their favourite murder cases. It's amazing. I've always felt a bit of guilt over my obsession with gruesome crimes, because of obvious reasons, but these women understand me on a spiritual level, and are really wonderfully good at explaining the appeal. In general, I've tended to prefer historical crimes, where there's more distance between our time and the events, but each crime they discuss is pretty fascinating, and let's be honest... who doesn't want to know the identity of Jack the Ripper?

Listening: Champagne Problems by Nick Jonas, whyyyyyy is Nick Jonas becoming everything to me musically???????

Cooking: Thai Green Curry! I love green curry and eat it at least three times a week like the champ I am! I use a version of this recipe, with half a cup more (full fat) coconut milk and some eggplant/aubergine! The low-fat/light coconut milk isn't better for you, don't fall into the trap that all fat is bad fat, etc.

Link Roundup: I have no interesting links for anyone right now, honestly, but if anyone wants to play the Sims4 Legacy Challenge with me please let me know! 

kittenyarns: (Default)
Watching: Sushi Police. a delightful short anime with bite-sized 5 minute episodes! 

Writing: Very Sekrit Baseball Fic, ShikaNaru ship manifesto

Reading: The Marvels, by Brian Selznick. I'm a huge Selznick fan; he's never disappointed me. His books always feel like a wonderful adventure, and I'm in love with his storytelling. Also you have to get the physical book-- half of his artistry is the paper choice, the illustrations, and the actual design of what is always a 600lbs book haha. Anyway, two interlocking stories might be very interesting-- I want to try this with my own writing some time.

Reccing: Two fics and a podfic! 
  • Fic 1: i looked at you and saw forever is a great teen wolf fic with an allison/stiles pairing and Great???? Allison characterization!! It's a very good read, and also it is a soulmates au, and i adored most of it. I wouldn't have characterized Scott like this, but it's not my fic, and I think what the author did was really excellent, so! Recced.
  • Fic 2: tides of loneliness. this is a ruroken g/pg rated ABO fic where kenshin's omega dynamic makes him the most loyal soldier in the revolutionaries' army. it's So Good. i wish there was more, but it's complete, and i'm satisfied.
  • Podfic: the summer queen, read by opalsong, GoT podfic, sansa is queen of westeros, enough said tbh.

Listening: Hello Friday Flo Rida & Jason Derulo, Drip Drop Taemin

Cooking: I made chanko-nabe twice this month for group parties! it's delicious, and this is pretty close to my recipe.

Link Roundup: 

Nail Polish

kittenyarns: (cupcakes)
Watching: Boku Dake ga Inai Machi One of the two standout anime for me this season. Storytelling, animation, characters... it's all good, and with the bonus of being extremely unique. If it stays as good as it is right now, it'll get added to my favs pretty handily.

Writing: Very Secret Baseball Fic (DnA), Sign of the Seven (Meitantei Conan)

Reading: Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater (reread), The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison

Reccing: this podfic, which I finally finished listening to! It's a Rurouni Kenshin/Star Wars crossover. yes, i know, it sounds like it shouldn't work. it does. opalsong is an excellent reader, anyway.

Listening: Flex (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh) by Rich Homie Quan. this whole album is a lot of fun, actually. additionally, this track given to me by Lonio: All in Vain, by Wet.

Cooking: Broccoli and Stilton soup, from this recipe.

Link Roundup:

Rihanna's New Album
New Utada Album
Barbie Has a New Body