plant your own garden

DAY 9: Send feedback to two fannish people — they can be anyone you want: a writer who’s made you happy, a moderator of your favorite exchange, a fanartist you avidly follow.

complete, posted for posterity.

Day 7: In your own space, create a fanwork. Make a drabble, a ficlet, a podfic, or an icon, art or meta or a rec list. Arts and crafts. Draft a critical essay about a particular media. Put together a picspam or a fanmix. Write a review of a Broadway show, a movie, a concert, a poetry reading, a museum trip, a you-should-be-listening-to-this-band essay. Compose some limericks, haikus, free-form poetry, 5-word stories. Document a particular bit of real person canon. Take some pictures. Draw a stick-figure comic. Create something.

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Since I usually post writing, I'll post some recent photos instead to supplement to make this tiny travel diary slash music rec.

To start, I want to talk about travelling.

I spent a large portion of my life travelling against my will. Or, rather, travelling without being given an active choice in it. My parents left me with my grandparents at a young age because of my father's work, and for the first 5 years or so, that meant no electricity or running water or indoor plumbing. I lived in a rainforest, so we never wanted for much-- everything we needed we grew, we collected rainwater, and all the children went to school in a one room schoolhouse. These memories are very vague for me-- distant and cloudy like a dream, and I can grasp onto the tiniest details but often timelines and events escape me. 

The next place I lived was on the other side of the world, with a different set of grandparents. I remember this a lot better. I discovered the cruelty of being mixed race around this time in my life, probably, and I'll never forget it. I was eager to move, after that. Eager to go somewhere new. Only I ended up stuck for a long time in this second place, surrounded by a homogenous society that was a fraction mine but from which I felt isolated completely. I started to long for other places. After that I rejoined my parents, in and out of schools and sometimes skipping school completely in favor of passing yearly exams until high school, which was split between my high school in Japan and then an extra year in the States, so that I didn't need to take the TOEFL for university.

Perhaps my restless childhood is at the heart of why I can't seem to stay in one place anymore, moving from country to country without much care for roots.

So now I travel a lot. Here's a picspam, along with some music.

I'll include some brief spams of some of my more recent trips that were temporary, as opposed to my country moves, haha. 

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song:

 

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Anyway this is just a brief glimpse of the sort of photos that clutter my phone and what I do with my life outside the computer, mixed with the music that reminds me of these places. It's not a fic, but I don't really have the spare energy to write outside my big projects and I owe to drabbles anyway. Happy Day 7!!!

Day 5: In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create



Please read the warnings for these works before you read or listen to the actual works. Honestly, most of these are very SFW, with minor sex jokes or offhand references to sex, but a couple of them really aren't. I've marked those NSFW, obviously, but for more specific warnings please see the work's listed warnings. I do this because I don't feel comfortable writing the warnings for other people's works, and I don't know what other people need to be warned for tbh.

This list is not comprehensive. I think I could make a rec list that's 1000 fics long for Naruto alone. I have read a billion Naruto fics. I have also only included 1 fic written in a fandom I write for. I generally don't rec for fandoms I write for, for Reasons, but I want everyone in the universe to read that fic. Anyway I'll stop explaining and give you this pile of things I like, in no particular order except the first one:



[podfic] somewhere my flower is there by novembersmith, as read by rhea314
tsuritama, haru/yuki
summary:
“If someone loves a flower, of which just one single blossom grows in all the millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars. He can say to himself, ‘Somewhere, my flower is there…’ But if the sheep eats the flower, in one moment all his stars will be darkened… And you think that is not important!” - Le Petit Prince

rec notes: this is my favourite. my favourite everything. it's not just the fic: i love the fic, of course, but this fic comes alive as a podfic. if someone asks me for a podfic rec, or i'm trying to get someone into podfic in general, this is the one i rec. it has everything: voices, charisma, cuteness, charm, emotional highs, DID I MENTION THE CUTENESS??, friendship... it's darling. rhea314 is really good at haru's voice. she's amazing at making him feel just like the character in the anime, and my heart grows three sizes every time i listen to this. it's heartwarming, and the tale of a cute alien fish learning about human love and still maintaining that very distinct alienness is so WONDERFUL. anyway if you listen to/read one thing on this list, please let it be this one.

[fic] all the world's a stage by torigates
brooklyn 99, rosa diaz/jake peralta
summary:
In fall of 2009 Rosa showed up at Jake's apartment unannounced to propose marriage. Which was weird for a number of reasons, primarily because Jake had no idea she even knew where he lived.

"No seriously," he said, once he stopped laughing. "Why're you here."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "One thousand push-ups."

"Cool," Jake said. "Let me get my coat."

rec notes: i laughed for a million years, i might still be laughing. this characterization is possibly the love of my life. rosa is PERFECT, and jake's general puppy-ness shines through. this show is so pure, and the purity really carries through in this fic, with genuine humour that's never at anyone's expense, just like the show. i love this fic. i wanna marry it.

[podfic] no place like home by dirgewithoutmusic, as read by opalsong
harry potter, gen
summary:
When Petunia Dursley refused to take Harry in she forfeited his birthright protection, so Dumbledore took the baby to the safest place he knew: Hogwarts.

The applicable staff (mostly just… not Snape) took Harry in on a rotating schedule as he grew from baby to toddler to child. They traded extra credit for babysitting among the older students, and Harry grew up knowing a few dozen different laps that were safe and warm to nap in.

This was a Harry who grew up among books, among old transient walls and learned professors. They gave Binns night duty sometimes, and let him talk young Harry to sleep. This was a Harry whose world changed, on principle, daily. The stairs moved. The walls became doors. You had to keep your eyes open–you had to pay attention. So he did.

He grew up in a school. Knowledge was power, but knowledge was also joy. This was his sanctuary. There was magic in his world from birth.

rec notes: harry potter finding a family is my kink tbh. i could read a million stories about it, but this is one of the best ones. once again, i recommend you listen instead of read. this one's great to read, too, ofc, but it really gains something in the oration-- perhaps because listening to it makes you slow down, and you can really appreciate the interesting turns of phrase and asides that dirgewithout music includes. also opalsong is a great reader. i listen to pretty much everything they publish because they're just really talented. i love this. 

[fic] close to the chest by darkmagicalgirl
haikyuu!!, yahaba/kyoutani
summary:
It takes Yahaba thirteen years to realize he's different from the other kids, one to figure out how to hide it, and two more to learn to be happy just the way he is.

rec notes: this fic has some of my favourite characterization in a fic. i especially like the way the side characters shine in this-- oikawa is an absolute delight. i quote this fic pretty often in my daily hq!! conversations because the dialogue is so sharp. yahaba feels real and relatable, and his melancholy never veers into maudlin. i really adore this fic, which i do honestly feel is one of the best written I've read in a long while. Pacing and characterization really sparkle in darkmagicalgirl's fics, and this one is a prime example of that.

[fic] Tides of Loneliness by theDah
rurouni kenshin, kenshin/kaoru
summary:
As an Alpha, Kaoru is a powerful and charismatic leader… well, in her dreams, that is. In 11th of Meiji, the society’s expectations label women as deferential, demure homemakers and Kaoru is the very definition of a lonely misfit. But then she meets Kenshin Himura and nothing is black and white anymore.

rec notes: this is a really interesting way of fusing rk canon with ABO in a way that makes a beautiful and tragic amount of sense. this work is rly powerful for being so short, and really shows one of the things people can do with ABO that's not about sex or sexual power at all. there's no sex in this. no references to sex. i love those, too, but this was different in a way i've been wanting to see for a while from this trope. this is a story about control, and what happens when it's abused. what it can do to people when they devote their lives to something intangible, and what having power when you don't know how to wield it can be frightening. it's a great story that really relies on solid characterization to make the AU work... and work it does imho. kaoru is totally believable as a sheltered alpha that doesn't know her own strength, and kenshin as an omega fits flawlessly into the hierarchy of the bakamatsu. 

[fic] rumour has it by mautadite
a song of ice and fire, sansa stark/margaery tyrell
summary:
“Did you hear about Sansa Stark and Margaery Tyrell in Greenhouse Five?” The rumour mill turns.

rec notes: this is freakin adorable and also happy sansa/margaery fic is my asoiaf poison of choice. this is a harry potter au where the houses of asoiaf are pureblood families and politics plays out thus.

[fic] i looked at you and saw forever by cywscross
teen wolf, allison/stiles
summary:
When she walks into the classroom and catches his eye, it’s like all the puzzle pieces in the world clicking into place. Like finding something essential to their survival that neither of them ever realized was missing to begin with. Like coming up for air and finally being able to breathe unrestricted.

rec notes: this is a soulmate au that i really enjoyed. the unusual pairing really worked for me in this fic, and i thought it was a good exploration of an often underexamined dynamic. stiles and allison are so fun together. also i love soulmate aus.

[fic] an invincible summer by ShanaStoryteller
naruto, minor pairings but so not the point (sasuke/naruto)
summary:
When Naruto is five, he's gutted by a drunken civilian and presumed dead.

Six months later a girl with ash pale hair and dark blue eyes enters the Academy.

rec notes: i don't want to spoil this fic, but genderfluid naruto has never been more real or more wonderful than in this fic. also this fic is really fluffy despite the grim summary. it's about seeing the best in people, and seeing for who they have the potential to become. naruto in this fic is so Good, and because of that, they make everyone else Good around them. I really love this fic. It makes me happy. it's also funny and cute and has found family and a TINY smidgeon of romance. just a little ;). there's also another fic that diverges around the first third of the story to tell another possible outcome, and it is also really fun to read, if not as in depth and in the vein of what i like, which is people building their own families when the world doesn't shake out for them right on that front.

[fic] fairy dance of death
sword art online
summary:
AU reboot of the entire SAO storyline, beginning from the premise that Kayaba Akihiko was obsessed with magic and Norse Mythology rather than swords and pure melee. As a result, he created the Death Game of Alfheim Online rather than the floating castle of Aincrad—a world in which player-killing is not a crime, and the nine player races are in competition with each other to reach the top of the World Tree.

rec notes: i don't know how to rec this beyond saying 'wow' at the sheer amount of research and worldbuilding that went into it. it's truly impressive, and i like it a lot better than i like its source material. fandom is so good to me sometimes.

[podfic] look at this wonderful mess we've made by shelockelly, as read by RSCreighton
hockey rpf, jamie benn/tyler seguin, nsfw
summary:
A name-on-wrist soulmate AU where being outed by a same-sex name is still newsworthy if you're in professional sports and is a very real concern for some NHL players. Despite the shifting attitudes, no one in the sport has ever come out publicly.

Tyler has always felt relieved that 'Jamie' could be a male or female name, it makes hiding his sexuality a lot easier. Jamie's not been so lucky.

rec notes: this is a hard listen. i got so angry at jamie so many times listening to this, but the kind of angry where i'm half angry AT him and half angry at the world for making him like this. at points you think they're too broken, and that it can't be fixed, but i think that the pacing really benefits this story in that the resolution feels thoroughly earned. RSCreighton has a comforting voice for me, and i really enjoyed this as a podfic, as I don't usually have the attention span for fics like this if I have to read them. 

[podfic] House in the Red Light District by Kyogre, as read by Opalsong
snk (attack on titan)
summary:
Armin, Eren and Mikasa inherit a brothel. A very classy brothel, that's popular with the military. They have no idea what they're doing, but with Armin's cunning, Mikasa's ability to kick ass, and Eren's mysterious kink-discovering skills, they pull through okay. Mostly.

rec notes: this is hilarious, and i'm reccing it for the joke delivery. it's so great. a really fun listen that's not going to shank you in the gut like most of the things I love.

[podfic] when you get where you are going by pryodynamo, as read by Rhea314
tiger & bunny, koutetsu/barnaby
summary:
none given

rec notes: i've never read this fic, but I've listened to it 20 times. it's another story about finding yourself, and figuring out what you want. i love those ;)

[fic] The Rest of Your Life by candle_beck
baseball rpf, munson/chavez
summary:
two boys grow up

rec notes: this fic fucking destroyed me, i see this fic in my dreams, don't read this fic if you want to believe happiness exists, it's so good read it anyway. this fic is like getting dropped in the coldest part of the ocean with weights on your ankles, but really, this fic is actually like a warm summer afternoon, sitting across from your best friend, eating popsicles and realizing you're in love with them. and then realizing that you really shouldn't be. ahhhhh it's so good.

[fic] Behind this Wall of Metaphors by cherryvanilla and impertinence
rpf, jonathan toews/kristen stewart | jonathon toews/patrick kane | kristen stewart/charlize theron, nsfw
summary:
In which KStew and Tazer meet in a bar, hookup, becoming bros who bone, talk about their gay crushes, and begin fake dating in an attempt to make said gay crushes jealous. Mostly in that order.

rec notes: so i read this before the whole patrick kane thing happened, and i sorta lost my taste for patrick kane, but this fic is So Good. kristen is so amazingly written, as is the friendship between jonny and kristen. rarely do i read fic where sex with friends isn't some kind of underlying promise of romance-- in this, the sex and the romance are clearly two separate things, the fake dating is actually fake, and other things are happening with people outside their friends-with-benefits situation. i really like that. the dialogue is great, too, and there are no girls-as-villains, bless. also charlize/kristen for life, i swear, i love-- anyway, the characterization is great, it's HOT, it's a lot of fun to read but doesn't skimp on introspection. i like this fic a lot. so much that it survived my great kane/toews bookmark purge of 2k15. 


UM OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH FOR NOW--

Day 2: In your own space, share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. Something that impacted on your consciousness in a way that left its mark on your soul.

There is a book I read when I was quite small, and still learning English, called Walk Two Moons, by Sharon Creech. It was given to me as a gift for my birthday, from my grandmother. This, she told me, is a book about another little girl who feels like she doesn't belong. I remember staring at the light brown cover, with a picture of a lake on the front, and running my fingers across the moons replacing the 'o's in the title. I remember curling up on the soft sheep blanket in the corner of our home, in the spot furthest from the fire, and starting to read it, not expecting much since my grandmother had never been particularly good at choosing books for me, a girl who read high fantasies and murder mysteries more than anything else.

The pages were soft already; folded and dogeared. It wasn't a new book. My grandmother had purchased it from the library in the next village over, where she got most books in English for me, because there were hardly places to buy books at all, where we lived, let alone ones in a language no one else speaks with any fluency. Only the kids at my school were expected to be good at English, anyway. The other kids in our respective neighborhoods referred to us as "the Americans" even though half of us had never seen America, and weren't even sure that's where one of our parents might be from. I was one of the rare kids that knew both of my parents and was secure in the fact that I hadn't been an accident or a cultural misstep. That knew exactly why my skin was darker and why my otherness wasn't socially disqualifying. Still, I loved English, and I wanted to be good at it. I wanted to be the best at it, because it was a skill that felt like it should have been my birthright, even if the words felt strange on my tongue.

I never expected, really, to identify with a character the way I identified with Sal. If I'd been older, I'd have realized, like my grandmother did, that Sharon Creech was someone meant to write for kids like me. Sharon Creech grew up straddling cultures herself; deeply aware of her Indigenous American roots at the same time as she reached for a sense of mainstream Americanism that was constantly kept just out of reach for her. All of her books brush upon this idea of wanting to blend in, and that desire is so important, so easy, for me to identify with. I spent most of my childhood longing to fit into my surroundings. To stop being stared at in the market. To stop having people touch my hair in the street or have other kids I'd known my whole life taunt me in the language we all grew up speaking together, because the words must hurt less when the language didn't belong to me.

But as I sat there, wrapped up in the blanket my grandmother had made by hand, English book open to the first chapter, I found someone else who was being crushed by the weight of others' expectations like me. And it hooked me. I devoured the rest of the book, with its important lessons and wonderful Americana and sprawling cultural roots. I imagined the rural parts of Ohio and Kentucky through the backseat window of Gramps' car. I was Sal, determined to finally grasp the truth of the world in my own two hands. 

While Walk Two Moons is, first and foremost, a story of forgiveness and family, it is also a story of learning to understand yourself, and your place in the world. From a writing perspective, this is the book that taught me the importance of everyday characters. That taught me that you didn't need a complex plot to tell a very complex story. That made me face the idea that I wasn't alone in my displacement, and that a book had the power to do that for others, too. I started writing my own stories because this story finally lanced a wound I hadn't realized was infected, and let me start to heal.

From a personal perspective, it taught me empathy. To look outside myself, and wonder if there was more to the story than my own personal narrative.

This book doesn't have anything flashy to recommend it. There is no fast-paced mystery, no high-fantasy magic. The characters are simple and mundane, and you've met them all before, at school or your job, at the grocer's and the dry cleaners. They are normal people with normal problems, and they struggle with things that are tied around their ankles like lead weights, making them move forward at a crawl. But I ended up seeing myself in them, in Sal especially, so much that when things started to shift under her feet, I cried. (I don 't cry.) And isn't that its own kind of magic?

Even to this day, I can remember long pieces of dialogue from this book. The image of blackberries smeared across Sal's mother's mouth. The loneliness of abandonment, the aching open wound of wondering, and even the kid who tied her hair to the chair. (That happened to me too.) Sal is lonely and different and afraid, but she is never the villain for it. I love her.

There's a moment in this book that crystalizes her change in perspective: 

It seems to me that we can't explain all the truly awful things in the world like war and murder and brain tumors, and we can't fix these things, so we look at the frightening things that are closer to us and we magnify them until they burst open. Inside is something that we can manage, something that isn't as awful as it had at first seemed. It is a relief to discover that although there might be axe murderers and kidnappers in the world, most people seem a lot like us: sometimes afraid and sometimes brave, sometimes cruel and sometimes kind.

I remember this lesson every day. And when I write, I try to make all my characters as mundane and ordinary and wonderfully realized as Sal. Because one day I want to write a character that makes someone grip a book a little tighter, wrapped in a blanket and skimming words in a language they've dreamt of claiming, and say something like: "this character is so much like me."

I've read this book a hundred times, and I'll probably read it a hundred more. I won't offer a summary, because even I wouldn't know how to summarize it. Maybe something simple like: a girl finds herself, and comes to accept that being different, being lonely, being afraid... that those aren't the end or the beginning of anything. They're just a part of the journey, and you don't have to make that journey all by yourself.